Crime, Punishment, and Anarcho-Tyranny

Modern problems and their consequences.

On the morning of October 3, 2021, a criminal mastermind struck fear into the heart of the Big Apple with one heinous deed.

The culprit: Micah Beals, a white out-of-work actor with credits in radical productions like “Parks and Recreation” and “CSI: NY.” His crime? Throwing paint on the face and base of George Floyd’s 10-foot-tall bronze statue in Union Square Park, where the late convicted felon’s bust had recently been unveiled as part of an art installation. New York Gov. Kathy Hochul denounced the act as a “reprehensible” atrocity and directed the Hate Crimes Task Force, run by the State Police with the assistance of the State Division of Human Rights, and the Division of Criminal Justice Services, “to provide any assistance in the investigation to find the perpetrator and hold them accountable.” In a matter of days, the New York Police Department’s Hate Crimes Division triumphantly announced the fugitive Beals’ capture. The manhunt for the Empire State’s most wanted had ended. 

Confront Art, the organization that cast the Floydian golden calf, thanked the police over Instagram for their swift and vengeful work. “We do not consider this just an act of vandalism, but an act of hate,” the group wrote. “Although the defacing of the statue was a disappointing day, we’ve experienced 30 days of true community building, joy and positivity from New Yorkers and visitors alike, and no vandal can deter from that.” Beals could face up to seven years in prison and significant fines. No matter what, his name is ruined. Such is the fate of those who dare desecrate the American Empire’s new and strange icons.